goodnight sweet prince 10 Ιουνίου, 2011Posted by alex in intertubes.
Yeah. So, i’ve been surfing the internets, right? And i realize there is no encyclopedia dramatica, right? And i pose this question to my self, ‘where’s ED?’ And i start reading all them pages all around the tubes, linking bits and pieces together and everything, and bitch keeps redirecting me to this ‘oh inernet‘ site. Which is cute and all but y’know? Like, there was once this neat dude called Ed, and you’d take the bus to him and he is really neat and spends all this time with you and he is the coolest, and you go away for a couple of months and you come back and you go find him, and in Ed’s place there is this politicaly corrent, semi retarted, self-explanatory, polite, dumb motherfucker who has kept a list of all the funny shit Ed’s done in the past with other neat dudes and some other extremely retarded dudes but also neat, and you ask where the fuck is Ed? And this guy talks in memes, right? And he says Ed is ‘A once noble pursuit of lulz, corrupted by immature elements’. And then it gets worse because you realize that the uncool piece of shit IS Ed, just completely changed. Like he is wearing a condom, like a friend says. A full body cencorship condom i might add. Ed himself, is still online as a mirror site on a chinese server.
How this happened? Lolcats industry. Long stoy short, once there was caturday. Every Saturday Ed’s retarded friends would post cute pics of cats with or without captions making the 4chans a happy place for a while. Then some jamaican dudes started a blog called «i can has cheeseburger», wordpress users might remember it being on top of the wordpress list during 2007, named after a caturday caption of a happy looking fat british shorthair cat. More cats with captions were posted there, scoring insane numbers of hits per day. And that would pretty much be the miracle of the open internets, right? And then the miracle of the open markets happened. ‘Icanhascheeseburger’ was bought for a couple million dollars by this guy, who then along with some other purchased ideas that brilliant people used to waste their time with, such as ‘failblog’, started the‘cheeseburger network‘ making shitloads of money and, like Ed said, corrupting the lulz. This guy.
So what’s this gotta do with anyting? A month before Ed was deprived of his e-cojones, the lolcat industry bought a site called ‘knowyourmeme‘. Knowyourmeme was another meme-blood sucking corporate shithouse** but it also came quite handy to all the newfags who wanted to know what ‘tits or GTFO’ meant. And newfags have the right to know that.* The thing is, when a wiki site that has been created «for teh lulz» packed with extremely disturbing content stands between a corporate shithold and its content, things get ugly. Now imagine two corporate shitholds. ED lasted a month after the cheeseburger network bought knowyourmeme, and then.. oh internet.
Most links are NSFW.
*In case someone calls me elitist, please read this sentence again.
** Here’s what ED has to say about KYM:
Know Your Meme (KYM) is essentially the end product of greedy corporate intervention into anything OTI. The site itself, which was for a short time a subsidiary of multi-national corporate giant Sony, was created entirely for the benefit of the newest of new and the odd over-the-hill, old media type. It is distinct from other sites (e.g. Lurkmoar wiki) in that Know Your Meme is clearly intended for mass commercialization of every «cute» meme that ever sprang forth from a *chan. It’s also mostly safe for work, which is fucking lame. Sounding like someone yet?
Since its inception, KYM has had no shame corporatizing the internet culture they take no part in and, moreover, are exceedingly arrogant about this fact. You will often see this smarmy attitude first-hand from the odd mod or site rep attempting to justify the site’s existence with such disingenuous statements like «nobody owns a meme, we all do», which is fine, except they are a fucking company that is making money off of them at the same time. If they could copyright every meme in existence, they would – a corporation’s eternal mission is the divide and conquer mindset. It is basically I Can Has Cheezburger? raised to the tenth with 100 times the faggotry. The site survives largely off of retarded YouTube users, Gaiafags, unsatisfied Oh Internet users and legions of other 12 year olds.